Starting Anew

When I started this blog, I was still in the process of trying to see if I could work things out with my BD. I orginially decided this blog would be a journal to allow me to see not just remember all the times, when he made hickups, and I decided to let him and this thing go. Since then, I have been thinking and I decided I don't want to even go that far with it, I have enough reason already for why I should just let it all go. So I sat down today and wrote a letter to BD and told him I think its best that we just be parents. I have said this before, and he has tried to change my mind and I eventually give in. This time I hope its different. I want it to be different. I find it hard to keep giving myself the excuses

Something New Pt. 2

Tuesday night, I finally decided to see what (I'll call him) Wild Card was all about . He contacted me and we decided to do dinner at Cheesecake Factory. Now, let me back up a bit, I am a female who loves all types of foods and trying new things, I have found that mostly when it comes to dating in my age group guys want to go to Ruby Tuesday, TGIFriday's or Applebees. Nothing in the price range of Cheesecake and while I have been there on numerous occasions with my friends never on a date. So back to the story, I meet my Wild Card at the Cheesecake Factory (I don't allow my dates to pick me up for the first couple of dates at my home). I arrived first and had time to talk to my bestie for a while before he came. When he arrived I had the opportunity to check out his outfit....Not really my cup of tea but its ok. So he comes in almost doesn't recognize me, but when he does he is pleased. We sit down to eat and the convo just flows perfectly, he is a complete gentleman and I am just in awe. Where has he been all my life? After dinner he wants to spend more time but, I know that its best that I go home, I have learned its better to take it slow. He tries to change my mind but after realizing that I'm not about to budge he drops it. We exchange our good nights and go our separate ways. I definitely want to see him again, just gotta get BD out of my system...

Something New....

I met somebody...in a different way...He's been on my mind...I found out yesterday that I have been on his too....Wanna see where this is gonna go....tired of BD and the games...ready to have true happiness again, not only within myself but also with someone. I often think about coming home to flowers or a nice bubble bath or being held without having to ask. Cooking dinner and being scooped up into his arms....*sigh* To be continued...

With a bowl of Green Soup...

Today after almost two weeks of waiting, I received my first (don't judge me) bed set. Purchased with my own money without any body's help! SO since the day I spotted it I have let my daughter's father (who from this day forth will be BD) about this purchase. I payed for it and was told of my shipping date. Now today once we put my bed set up all I heard around my house was "umm umm", "wish I could drop $.$$ on this", "are you gonna spend the rest of the day setting your room up?".  I just got the feeling like he might be alittle jealous. Since the day me and my BD have split I have been doubting myself on what I can do and how I will get it done, until recently. I made up in my mind that I was gonna put one foot in front of the other and make it happen. That's how I moved out of my mother's home and got my own place, that how I have started to work towards repairing my credit, thats how I was able to drop money on a bed set. I have been making moves and he can't stand that he didn't help me get to this place. In all actuality he is the reason I'm here anyway....Just now, its not a us got this done its a I got this done type thing. *hmpf*

Dear Diary....

This past weekend it was one of the biggest African American sporting events in this area, CIAA. My daughter's father decided he was gonna hop, skip and jump his tail on down there. Now let me give you a little insight to our situation. We aren't technically together but, we (supposedly) aren't talking to other people and just trying to work on getting our thing back on track. Now during the time when things were off track I heard lots of things...some of which went down when he was suppose to have our daughter (i digress), which has caused me to have some slight issues with him and things he does. Back to this weekend, and our life in general, he is a very take me as I am type dude, if he doesn't see a problem with his actions, he ain't gonna change his ways. With that being said I knew we were gonna have some problems, he went down there on Friday, talked once and text once.. Saturday rolls around calls that morning a couple times, text a couple times that night, then today when he's on his way back he wants to flood my phone with calls. SMH, I had to put an end to it. I believe in being consistent always no matter whats going on (with some exceptions) and I don't think he was. You can't text me and tell me, you miss me and wish you were her but then go and don't make that extra call or put in that extra time. I have been feeling for a while like it just isn't worth trying to work out. I'm just waiting on the other shoe to drop so to speak....