Hustle

As a single parent everything seems to run thin....time, money, clothes, shoes, food....there is always a need but if you are like me and don't get any assistance then how do you meet these needs. Hustle...find the thing you are good at or better yet what can you do that people will pay you! In a world with Uber, Left, GrubHub and Postmates get you a hustle that will pay you but allows you flexibility. Avon, Tupperware....don't be afraid to add income to your household with the free time that you have. You are good with hair, cooking, baking....then hop to it, your family needs you!

Co-Parenting

The dreaded "C" word that comes about once you and your significant other separate with kids....co-parenting. Immediately all these scenarios flash past your eyes. Ugh! What do I do?!?!?! Well lets see where we can start?

First start with the most important person in the situation. YOUR LITTLE ONE!
Put them first. Yes, I said put them first. Not your feelings or emotions ...them!

• My advice: If you feel the rage or sadness building, take a moment and come back to the conversation so that you can respond from a rational place instead of emotional place.

Then ask yourself, How can I be agreeable? This does not include being a push over but it does mean that sometimes you will have to be available in ways that you don't care for to make sure your child is happy.

• My example: Driving my daughter out of my way about 20 minutes so she could attend a birthday party for her father's significant others child. She wanted to go and me not allowing her to go would only be to satisfy myself in the moment. It wasn't worth it. 

Next time you are trying to work through a situation with your ex, try these two scenarios for more effective co-parenting. 

Starting Over

First day of many, as I move on with my life. Today was kinda hard, as I was out so many things crossed my mind. Things that were said, wrote, expressed. Feeling, reactions and suppressed emotion. How did I get to this place, where I miss you and refuse to believe that you aren't missing me. Like, how do you not care but then I know you care about her too....*sigh* her.... Y did u have to get a her.... A her who is giving you a him....smh, a baby..... yep, u don't care, can't care for me and do all this, right? Right?!?

Saw a couple out today with their newborn, the father, gazing at his baby and I almost broke down. Starting over is harder than I imagined but, I don't see myself coming back, no more going back. 

Trusting Ur Head

Its always hard to trust your head, your heart will tell you to do things that your head knows aren't best. I just walked away from the second longest/emotional relationship I have ever had. This time, I'm more hurt that I stayed soooo long when my head told me to be out a long time ago! Guess its a sign if maturity that I made this decision and hopefully its a lesson learned.

Deuteronomy 20: 1-4

Starting Anew

When I started this blog, I was still in the process of trying to see if I could work things out with my BD. I orginially decided this blog would be a journal to allow me to see not just remember all the times, when he made hickups, and I decided to let him and this thing go. Since then, I have been thinking and I decided I don't want to even go that far with it, I have enough reason already for why I should just let it all go. So I sat down today and wrote a letter to BD and told him I think its best that we just be parents. I have said this before, and he has tried to change my mind and I eventually give in. This time I hope its different. I want it to be different. I find it hard to keep giving myself the excuses

Something New Pt. 2

Tuesday night, I finally decided to see what (I'll call him) Wild Card was all about . He contacted me and we decided to do dinner at Cheesecake Factory. Now, let me back up a bit, I am a female who loves all types of foods and trying new things, I have found that mostly when it comes to dating in my age group guys want to go to Ruby Tuesday, TGIFriday's or Applebees. Nothing in the price range of Cheesecake and while I have been there on numerous occasions with my friends never on a date. So back to the story, I meet my Wild Card at the Cheesecake Factory (I don't allow my dates to pick me up for the first couple of dates at my home). I arrived first and had time to talk to my bestie for a while before he came. When he arrived I had the opportunity to check out his outfit....Not really my cup of tea but its ok. So he comes in almost doesn't recognize me, but when he does he is pleased. We sit down to eat and the convo just flows perfectly, he is a complete gentleman and I am just in awe. Where has he been all my life? After dinner he wants to spend more time but, I know that its best that I go home, I have learned its better to take it slow. He tries to change my mind but after realizing that I'm not about to budge he drops it. We exchange our good nights and go our separate ways. I definitely want to see him again, just gotta get BD out of my system...

Something New....

I met somebody...in a different way...He's been on my mind...I found out yesterday that I have been on his too....Wanna see where this is gonna go....tired of BD and the games...ready to have true happiness again, not only within myself but also with someone. I often think about coming home to flowers or a nice bubble bath or being held without having to ask. Cooking dinner and being scooped up into his arms....*sigh* To be continued...